Success is not easy

 I was looking at my business page on Inc File today and I came across a notice that I would soon have to pay a huge fee to keep my business in good standing. It always happens this way. When I'm planning a business, I feel on top of the world. Everything is possible. But then, when I feel at my best, reality strikes:

1. I don't know how to make money.
2. I've failed before.
3. I've got three strikes against me (but only one strike).
4. I'm stuck in a poverty trap that seems to have no way out.
5. The entire foundation that I'm basing this on is faulty. 

Even with all of the books that I've read, even with all of the adversity that I've overcome and won, I'm not ready. And I never will be ready. I'm 38 right now. I've been through some things that seemed impossible at the time. I often wonder what it took to succeed under those circumstances. I wonder this knowing that I already know how I did it, because I was there. I was a personal witness to the accomplishments, as well as their attendant thoughts and emotions. I know what it took to stare death in the face three times and say, simply, "no." I know what it took to face all of that. But success isn't survival. You can't survive and succeed at the same time. And success is a brand new game. But it comes with the ultimate rewards. If I don't succeed, at least I didn't become what people wanted me to be...